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Chapter 1 Marriage and the One-Flesh Union

"Successful marriage requires falling in love many times with the same person"

THE NEGLECTED CREATIVE ACT

Ask someone about the creative acts of the LORD God and they might recall several including man and woman, but very few people mention the next verse, namely, the creation of the "one-flesh union ":

"God said, Let there be light ... let there be an expanse between the waters ... let dry ground appear ... and let the land produce vegetation ... let there be lights in the expanse of the sky ... let the water teem with living creatures and let birds fly above the earth ... let us make man in our own image, in our likeness (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:7) ... then the LORD God made a woman (Genesis 2:18,21-23)... for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 NIV)

"This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined (Hebrew "dabaq": adhere or join together) to his wife, and the two are united into one." (Genesis 2:24 NLT)

Therefore, that which God once and for all yoked together, let man not be separating." (Matthew 19:6 ETGNT)

The Psalmist confirms our Lord's work by the power of his spoken command and the fact that his plan doesn't change:

"The Lord merely spoke and the heavens were created. He breathed his word and all the stars were born." (Psalms 33:6 NLT)

"For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command." (Psalms 33:9 NLT).

"But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." Psalms 33:11 NLT).

In his letter to the Hebrews, the Apostle Paul confirms that Jesus was with God at the time of creation and it was through him that God created the universe:

"In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe." (Hebrews 1:1-2 NIV)

"In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands." (Hebrews 1:10 NIV)

The prophet Malachi confirmed the "one-flesh union", making it clear the LORD God made that union and thus the couple were his own, both in body and spirit, for a very good reason:

You cry out, "Why has the LORD abandoned us?" I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made to each other on your wedding day when you were young. But you have been disloyal to her, though she remained your faithful companion, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard yourself (Hebrew "shamar": be circumspect [careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences]); remain loyal to the wife of your youth. "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD God of Israel. "It is as cruel as putting on a victim's bloodstained coat," says the LORD Almighty. "So guard yourself ; always remain loyal to your wife" (Malachi 2:14-16. NLT)

In the New Testament, Jesus confirmed the "one-flesh union" in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke. Notice the authority with which he speaks! I especially like Wuest's Expanded Translation of the Greek New Testament due to its focus on the tense and aspect of Greek verbs :

"Have you not read, The Creator from the beginning, a male and a female He made them, and said, On this account a man shall forsake his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and they shall be, the two, one flesh, insomuch that no longer are they two, but one flesh? Therefore, that which God once and for all yoked together, let man not be separating." (Matthew 19:4-6 ETGNT)

Most of the Bible translations use the word "LET" in both in the Old Scriptures and the New Testament. However, if you look up the word "LET" in Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible for the Genesis Ch. 1 creative commands, you will find no Hebrew word for "LET" listed! Thus, it seems reasonable and consistent with Psalms 33:6 & 9 to literally translate those verses as commands: "BE LIGHT ... BE AN EXPANSE ... DRY GROUND APPEAR ... LAND PRODUCE VEGETATION", etc.

Now look up the word "LET" in Matthew 19:6 where Jesus says, "... that which God once and for all yoked together, let man not be separating". Again, you will find no Greek word for "LET" listed! Thus, it seems reasonable that you could literally translate this verse as an emphatic "that which God once and for all yoked together, NO MAN BE SEPARATING!!!

Now, does that mean man should not separate the one-flesh union God created or does it mean man can not separate? It seems to me the context is clear: "... once and for all yoked together" clearly makes it permanent and beyond the ability of man to separate!

The Apostle Paul agrees when he makes it clear that only death can break this "one-flesh union" the LORD God creates and options are very limited in the case of death, separation and divorce:

"A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, but this must be a marriage acceptable to the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39 NLT).

"Now, for those who are married I have a direct command from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NLT). Apparently Paul didn't think it necessary to repeat himself, but if he had, I'm sure he would have written, "But if he does leave her, let him remain single or else go back to her."

These two options for separation and divorce, remaining single or reconciling, do not compromise the genuine "one-flesh union" that God creates when a man leaves his parents and is joined to his wife and they consummate the marriage.

On the other hand, there is another kind of "one-flesh union" that a human being makes when he or she has sexual intercourse while unmarried; or is unfaithful while married; or remarries while their spouse is still living; or marries a divorced person; or engages in sexual relations with a same-sex partner or participates in other distortions and perversions.

Those kind of activities produce counterfeit or man-made "one-flesh unions". They're the kind the Apostle Paul was referring to when he wrote, "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." (1 Corinthians. 6:16 NIV) Obviously, God cannot bless fornication which creates a counterfeit or man-made "one-flesh union", any more than He can bless spiritual adultery or unfaithfulness!

In conclusion, how would you go about separating that which God once and for all yoked together? God took two and made one ... now, how are you going to reverse that? Find an attorney and file a petition for dissolution of marriage? Write your spouse a letter of divorcement? Go to the courthouse and apply for a new marriage license? Can those actions reverse what the God of Heaven did once and for all time ... until death intervenes?

Chapter 2 Teachings of the Apostle Paul

Key to translations used in this article: NLT  New Living Translation; KJV  King James Version; NIV  New International Version; NAS  New American Standard; ETGNT  Wuest's Expanded Translation Greek New Testament

This study was written by John Twelker of Makawao, Hawaii, who would like to thank his brother, Paul Twelker, Ed.D, Professor of Psychology, Trinity International University, College of Arts and Sciences, for his help in prioritizing this often ignored but nevertheless quintessential element of marriage, the "One-Flesh Concept".