Chapter 20. Guidelines For Stress Option B: Accepting Feelings

There are two steps to accepting feelings:

Step 1. Be accepting verbally.

Step 2. Be accepting in body language.

Here are examples of how to be accepting of feelings verbally:

"I understand."

"I accept your feelings."

"If I were in your shoes, I'd feel the same way."

"Thanks for sharing your feelings with me."

"You can really be upset with me. I goofed!"

"I was wrong! I apologize! You can really be angry with me. Go ahead and get it off your chest!"

Here are examples of how to be accepting in body language:

Maintain good eye contact.

Look pleasant, sincere.

Nod your head "yes".

Keep your arms down and relaxed and in a nutural position, not folded across your chest.

Acceptance of feelings uses a minimum of words! If you find yourself talking excessively and defending yourself, chances are you're rejecting! Acceptance doesn't convince the Expressor of itself and doesn't defend itself! Your sincerity, warmth and honesty and your few words of acceptance will mean more than paragraphs of empty words.

Next: Guidelines for Combining Stress Options A and B: Express Feelings and Accept Feelings the Right Way

 

 

Stress Reduction Through Honesty in Communication by John Twelker, Copyright 1986, John Twelker Enterprises, Inc.