Chapter 31. Can I Feel Good About What I've Said?

If you say it the right way, you can feel good about it ... if you will.

If you choose Stress Option A or B, it'll be much easier to accept your feelings and feel good about what you've said. One possible exception to this is when you react to your Receptor's rejection that comes in the form of "You shouldn't think, feel or say things like that" or "That's a terrible thing to think, feel or say" or "Can't you see what you're doing to me? Can't you see the hurt and pain you're causing me to suffer?" If you buy into those lies, you will put yourself on a guilt trip and feel bad about what you've said even though it may have been totally right and appropriate.

The important thing to remember is, when under stress, always:

Choose Stress Option A or B,

Know it's the right thing to do, and

Experience the happiness that comes from being and doing right!

It's great if you are able to express your feelings appropriately and have them accepted! But sometimes, regardless of how well you do with Stress Options A and B, the response is rejection. At that point, your happiness over being and doing right is overshadowed by your anger over the rejection. This is normal and to be expected. Please, accept your own feelings, both those that you originally expressed and those you felt over the rejection!

Remember, the acceptance must come from somewhere! If it doesn't come from the Receptor, it must come from within you, the Expressor, or you will begin your default to the Starting Point!

 

Next: We Don't Need to Default To the Starting Point

Stress Reduction Through Honesty in Communication by John Twelker, Copyright 1986, John Twelker Enterprises, Inc.