What was I taught in my early years about feelings?
Was I taught that certain feelings were O. K.? Which
ones?
Was I taught that certain feelings weren't O. K.? Which
ones?
How would what I was taught about feelings influence my ability
today to accept my feelings?
What was I taught by my parents example when it came to handling
feelings?
How did my parents handle their happiness?
How much of the time did I see them happy?
What, if anything, would I have liked them to have done
instead?
How did they handle their anger?
How much of the time did I see them angry?
What, if anything, would I have liked them to have done
instead?
How did they handle their sadness and sorrow?
How much of the time did I see them sad?
What, if anything, would I have liked them to have done
instead?
If they seemed "down" or depressed, could I tell which feeling
was on top, mad or sad?
How did they handle their fear?
How much of the time did I see them fearful?
What, if anything, would I have liked them to have done
instead?
How would what I was taught about feelings by my parents
example influence my ability today to accept my
feelings?
What was I taught about resolving conflict?
Did I see my parents resolve conflict between
themselves?
In what way did my parents usually handle conflict?
Did one of my parents usually "give in" to keep
peace?
Did one of my parents usually get their way and come out on
top?
Did the resolving of conflict usually end in shouting matches
and arguments?
Was resolution of conflict kept on the intellectual level and
become a "battle of wits"?
Did I see my parents "agree to disagree" and be accepting of
the other's thoughts and feelings and still end by being
close?
How would what I was taught about resolving conflict influence
my ability today to be accepting of my own feelings and the feelings
of others?
What was I taught about affection?
To what extend did my parents exchange affection?
To what extent did I receive affection from my Dad?
To what extent did I receive affection from my Mom?
To what extent did my brothers and sisters receive affection
and was affection equally given?
Was I able to go to Dad for affection?
Was I able to go to Mom for affection?
Were
either of my parents exceptionally "smothering" or cold and
rejecting?
Did I grow
up feeling at ease with affection and able to both give and receive
equally from both men and women?
How would
what I was taught about affection influence my ability today to accept
my own need for affection and my ability to give and receive
affection?
What was I
taught about sexuality?
To what
extend, if any, was sex talked about during my growing up
years?
If sex was
discussed, were my parents at ease about it or did they seem up
tight?
Did I have
any unspeakable thoughts or questions or concerns about sex when
growing up?
How did I
handle my sexual tension and what were my thoughts and feelings about
my choice?
Was I
sexually stimulated or molested as a child by one of my parents, or a
brother or sister, or relative or close friend of the family?
If so,
how did I handle it?
Did I
have the courage to say "No!" and use my anger to give me the
strength to resist or prevent it?
Or was I
afraid and in my fear allow myself to be sexually abused?
What are
my thoughts today about my experience?
What are
my feelings about it and how do I handle these feelings?
How
would my experience influence my ability today to accept my sexual
feelings and to express them in positive and in appropriate
ways?
How would
what I was taught about sex influence my ability today to accept my
sexuality and to express it in positive and healthy ways.
Did our
Creator have feelings and did he create the human being in his image and
with the same kinds of feelings he had?
Were we
created with a need for affection?
Were we
created with sexual feelings for the purpose of both procreation and
recreation with our spouse?
Really,
aren't feelings O. K. and it's what we choose to do with them that's
either O. K. or not O. K.?
Aren't there
excellent reasons for each of our emotions: anger, happiness, sadness
and fear? And could we even be a human being without any one of
them?
And could we
be human without a need for warm, relaxed touch and without sexual
feelings?
Doesn't it
feel good to tell myself, "It's O. K. to be angry and happy and sad and
afraid!" and "It's O. K. to enjoy warmth and closeness!" and "It's O. K.
to enjoy my sexuality"?
At the same
time, isn't rewarding to express my feelings, affection and sexuality in
ways that are responsible, mature and consistent with our Creator's plan
and purpose for us?