Chapter 56. Questions to Increase Awareness: Affection

If the response is acceptance and you find it difficult to make the move to affection, you can help yourself by asking questions like these:

What am I afraid of? Do I fear rejection of my need for affection?

Or, am I afraid that if I am affectionate, that I may become sexually aroused and I won't know how to handle that? (If that should happen, could it be that you have some unresolved anger and that the arousal is an expression of that anger?)

Or, am I afraid that the other person will make fun of me and think I'm weird?

Or, am I afraid the other person will be cool and tense and either not respond warmly or push me away?

Who then, of my Primarys, does the other person remind me of emotionally that I choose to avoid closeness?

Wouldn't it feel great to express my happiness toward the person who was understanding and accepting rather than hold back, thus cutting the pleasure in half (at least!)?

When I'm happy and feel like being close, what's wrong with that?

Since affection is O. K., what level of affection could I handle and still feel good about following through on? Handshake? Hand on shoulder? Hug? (Whatever your comfort zone permits, start there!)

By answering questions like these jut as honestly as you can, it should be easier to accept your need for affection and to follow through after expressing your feelings appropriately and experiencing understanding and acceptance.

A friend is one who dares to be honest with you. Be your own best friend as you ask yourself these questions you probably haven't ever asked yourself before. Your honesty will enable you to break through those barriers and the degree to which you're honest with yourself will determine to what extent Stress Reduction Through Honesty in Communication will be of help to you!

 

Next: Stress Option Exercises: Instructions

Stress Reduction Through Honesty in Communication by John Twelker Copyright 1986, John Twelker Enterprises, Inc.