Chapter 6. Breaking Through Your Barrier

How do you break through your personal Recognition/Acceptance Barrier? Remember,

Emotional honesty and acceptance of feelings is able to break through all emotional barriers!

So, sit down in a quiet place, turn to Exercises To Increase Awareness and ask yourself the questions on "Recognition of Feelings". Be sure to write down your answers on a piece of paper, and if you wish, save them in a notebook.

If you're having difficulty accepting the feelings you're beginning to recognize, then ask yourself the questions on "Acceptance of Feelings". Be sure to write down your answers and also save them if you wish.

What If You Were Created With Only One Feeling?

If you're still having difficulty accepting all the feelings you're beginning to recognize, consider the the possibility of having been created with only ONE feeling: glad. You'd certainly have no trouble enjoying a good joke ... but what would you do at a funeral?

How about TWO feelings: glad and sad? What would you do when about to take a risky or dangerous step ... just stand there and laugh or cry?

Well then, what about THREE feelings: glad, sad and afraid? The fear would help you avoid danger but what would you do if you couldn't run fast enough and had to fight? Without anger, I doubt if you'd do very well.

To survive in this world, we need all FOUR feelings we were created with: mad, glad, sad and afraid! Our challenge is to accept all our feelings and direct the energy in ways that are appropriate, mature, responsible and that doesn't hurt or destroy ourselves or others.

 

Helping Others Break Through Their Barriers

How do you help others break through their Recognition/Acceptance Barrier? Again,

Emotional honesty and acceptance is able to break through all emotional barriers!

But it's not easy to help others be honest and accepting! The best way to be of help isn't by trying to teach honesty and acceptance but rather by simply being an example of honesty and acceptance yourself.

Intellectual honesty and intellectual tolerance can be taught but emotional honesty and emotional acceptance must first be experienced to be learned!

There's a big difference between the two! The kind of barriers we're talking about are emotional barriers, having to do with feelings, NOT intellectual barriers, having to do with thoughts or data. If you would like to help your spouse, son or daughter, or friend, break down their Recognition/Acceptance Barrier, then please remember,

That person must be in an environment of understanding and acceptance if they are to break through their Barrier, and they must be willing to be honest.

Your privilege is to provide that environment of understanding and acceptance while being honest with your own feelings and your feelings toward what they do or say.

Regretfully, emotional barriers are much like the physical sound barriers. When they are broken, they "rebuild" themselves and are ready to be broken again. It would be great if "once broken always broken" or if these broken barriers were irreparable. But, unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way.

Your mind has a way of quietly and inconspicuously rebuilding your barriers and keeping them built up. You become aware that they've been rebuilt when you find yourself under stress and at the Starting Point again! Honesty appears to be a daily, hourly or even minute by minute challenge.

When it comes to helping others, you will want to remember that other people's barriers, like yours, will also rebuild and your privilege is to be as patient and understanding with them as you would like them to be with you.

 

Next: Step 1 - Recognition of Feelings

 

Stress Reduction Through Honesty in Communication by John Twelker, Copyright 1986, John Twelker Enterprises, Inc.