III. Definitions of Terms Used in This Online Book

Acceptance: A basic human need associated with a kind and favorable response either to one's own feeling states or the feeling states of another.

Affection: A basic human need associated with warm, relaxed touch as in a handshake, hug, kiss or caress.

Affection/Acceptance Barrier: An obstacle that restricts or limits closeness or an exchange of affection due to our non-acceptance of need, desire and enjoyment of affection, usually accompanied by fear of rejection.

Anger: The feeling state associated with any thought or behavior perceived as injurious, threatening or somehow preventing the attaining of one's basic human needs.

Appreciation: A basic human need associated with our perception of being held in high personal esteem and of great value.

Applause: A basic human need associated with outward signs of commendation and praise for worthwhile thoughts and behavior.

Approval: A basic human need associated with our perception of having pleased another.

Barrier: An obstacle or fear that restricts or limits a person's thoughts or actions.

Class 1 Stress Symptoms: Appropriate, fun and pleasurable things a person thinks, says or does in an effort to relieve stress.

Class 2 Stress Symptoms: Appropriate and rewarding things a person thinks, says or does in an effort to relieve stress.

Class 3 Stress Symptoms: Inappropriate "seems like fun" things a person thinks, says or does in an effort to relieve stress but which actually increase stress levels.

Class 4 Stress Symptoms: Inappropriate and sometimes "painful" difficulties a person experiences as a result of stress or in an effort to relieve stress.

Emotional Acceptance: The kind and favorable response at the emotional level to the recognition of our own feeling states or to the feeling states of another, as contrasted with intellectual acceptance, that is, simply knowing that we should be accepting.

Exit: A kind way of escaping when Stress Option A- Expressing Feelings the Right Way and Stress Option B - Accepting Feelings the Right Way are no longer possible.

Expression/Acceptance Barrier: An obstacle that restricts or limits our expression of feelings due to our non-acceptance of those feelings, usually accompanied by fear of rejection.

Expressor: The person who shares thoughts and feelings, as contrasted with Receptor (the person who listens and responds to shared thoughts and feelings).

Fear: the feeling state associated with anxiety and apprehension over a perceived threat to our well being or the meeting of our needs.

Feeling: A sensation of emotion as angry, happy, sad or afraid, as contrasted with thinking (attitudes, opinions, factual data, reasoning, etc.).

Happiness: The feeling state associated with perceived satisfaction of our basic human needs.

Intellectual Acceptance: the kind and favorable response at the intellectual level to the recognition of our own feeling states or to the feeling states of another, as contrasted with emotional acceptance.

Love Object: Someone or something that is held in high esteem, the loss of which would bring about the feelings of sadness and anger.

Primary(s) or Primary Feeling Object(s): Father, mother, brother, sister and any other close relative or person present during the growing up experience.

Receptor: The person who listens and responds to shared thoughts and feelings (as contrasted with Expressor, the person who shares thoughts and feelings).

Recognition/Acceptance Barrier: An obstacle that restricts or limits our recognition of feelings due to non-acceptance of those feelings, either by ourselves or others.

Rejection: The unkind and unfavorable response to the recognition of one's own feeling states or the feeling states of another.

Sadness: The feeling state associated with loss and separation of a love object.

Scapegoat or "Emotional Scapegoat": person or persons who bear the Expressor's anger when in fact the intensity of the anger is due to unresolved and unexpressed feelings toward Primary's

Secondary(s) or Secondary Feeling Object(s): Everyone with the exception of one's father, mother, brother, sister and any other close relative or person present during the growing up experience.

Sexual Irresponsibility: Any sexual behavior which "seems like fun" but in reality increases stress levels and has as its basis unresolved and unexpressed anger.

Stress: The body's nonspecific response to any demand placed upon it, whether pleasant or unpleasant.

Stress Object: A situation or person that is stressful to you.

Stress Option A: The expressing of feelings in the right way.

Stress Option B: The accepting of another's feelings.

Stress Option C: The expressing of feelings the wrong way.

Stress Option D: The rejecting of another's feelings.

Thinking: The result of intellectual activity associated with attitudes, opinions, factual data and reasoning, as contrasted with feeling or emotion.

Understanding: The Receptor's intellectual comprehension of thoughts and feelings as shared by an Expressor.

Next: The Starting Point - Many Inappropriate Symptoms

Stress Reduction Through Honesty in Communication by John Twelker, Copyright 1986 by John Twelker Enterprises, Inc. First Online Revision Dec. 2002. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication or online revision may be reproduced and commercially distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the publisher. In plain English, you may make a copy for yourself or a friend but you can't sell it.